Maturity Matters Newsletter

Family caregivers play a major role in ensuring that their loved ones receive the healthcare that they need. This role may include initiating care, accompanying them to appointments, asking necessary questions or coordinating the many healthcare practitioners involved.
 
As the primary caregiver, your experience and knowledge is invaluable to healthcare practitioners, many of who will not know the person and his or her needs as well as you do. Therefore, it is important to know how to communicate effectively with the healthcare team. Below are some tips to help you in this role:
 
* Ensure you are familiar with each member of the healthcare team involved in your family member’s care, and their responsibilities.
 
* Be sure they understand your role. If the care recipient is not willing or able to take instruction, ensure they give permission for you to be kept informed.
 
* Before an office visit or telephone call or prior to the home support worker arriving, prepare a list of questions to ask or information you want to give them. You will save time and you won’t be distracted trying to remember what you want to ask. Be concise and focus on the issues.
 
* If you need information or have questions, don’t wait for the healthcare provider to contact you. Be proactive and give them a call, then follow-up if you don’t hear back from them. Keep in mind that although the person you are caring for may be your number 1 priority, the case manager, doctor or home support worker has many other clients.
 
* Clarify instructions. If you are not sure you understand or don’t know the meaning of technical terms, ask again until you are satisfied.
 
* Some doctors have specific hours when they take calls. Find out when this is and call during those times or leave a message with the secretary in the morning for the doctor to return your call.
 
* When communicating with healthcare providers, being clear and direct is important. Hinting or hoping they read your mind does not make good use of anybody’s time.

* Appoint one family member as the main contact with healthcare professionals when possible. The appointed person can clearly communicate with the rest of the family.
 
* Keep records of your loved one’s behaviours, such as sleeping, eating, emotions, symptoms, medication habits, etc. The more detailed information you have, the easier it is for your doctor or home support worker to give your family member the best treatment.
 
* Separate your anger and sense of frustration about your inability to help your family member from your feelings about the healthcare practitioners. Remember, you are on the same side.
 
Article By Barbara Small - Family Caregivers’ Network Society, reprinted with permission from Senior Living Magazine, www.seniorlivingmag.com

Many family caregivers are presented with the added challenge of caring for a family member long distance. Though more and more families are dispersed across the country or even around the world, the demands of caring for ill or aging family members are still present. Long-distance caregiving often involves specific concerns that are different from those families who live near each other.
 
Although one’s initial reaction may be to move a family member closer, consider first whether this might be more disruptive and stressful for everyone involved.
 
Are you prepared to have them live with you? Or are you prepared to be their only social contact once they have moved away from what is familiar to them? If they are coming from out-of-province, when will they qualify for medical services in this province?
 
Below are some suggestions for bridging the miles and making caring at a distance easier:

• Since you can’t drop in to see how things are going, call home often. Listen closely to their comments or complaints and ask questions that can alert you to changes in their health or routines.
• Establish a support network in your family member’s hometown with contact people who can provide you with a clear picture of the situation. These people might include a close friend, a minister, a doctor or others who regularly visit them. Ask them to alert you if they notice changes in your family member’s behaviour, appearance, memory, mobility or food habits.
• Ask someone to check in with your family member on a regular basis. Keep the contact information of this person with you at all times and ensure that they have your contact information. If you are worried, you can’t call that “nice young couple next door” to check in, if you don’t know their name or telephone number.
• Gather information about services, resources and other options for care available in their community. Do this in advance, even if you don’t need these services right now. Have them on hand before a crisis happens. You can find these resources on the Internet or pick up a copy of the local telephone directory next time you visit.
• Schedule regular visits.
• You need to make the most of your limited time there, so plan in advance for what you need to accomplish during the visit, in addition to visiting with your relative. Be observant while you are there. Are they eating regularly? Are their bills being paid?
• Some communities offer telephone assurance programs usually staffed by volunteers, who check in on frail and disabled persons living alone. Many volunteer organizations also have friendly visitor programs that provide regular visits to those who are housebound.
• In a non-emergency situation, try to step back and evaluate whether you need to travel or if you can send someone else. Can someone locally handle the situation? This will free up your time and money for emergencies or times when it is essential for you to be there.

(Article by, By Family Caregivers’ Network Society, Reprinted with permission by Senior Living Magazine)

The holiday season can be stressful. Add it to the busy schedule of a family caregiver and it can become overwhelming. It may be unrealistic to try to celebrate traditionally, while at the same time ensure your family member is cared for as needed.

Take time to re-evaluate your expectations for the holiday season and create a more realistic view of how it might unfold. Figure out what you truly have the time and energy to do and what you can delegate. Below are some ideas to help reduce the stress of the holiday season:

• You decide how much you wish to celebrate - if others want to do more, let them take the initiative.
• Don’t be afraid to say no. Only say yes if it’s comfortably manageable.
• Start new traditions that make sense based on the present. It doesn’t always have to be done the same way every year.
• Try to schedule activities early in the day. For someone who is ill or injured, fatigue and stress levels can increase throughout the day.
• Try to maintain a sense of routine for the care recipient. Ask them how they want to celebrate over the holidays.
• Keep decorations to a minimum to avoid clutter that may be hazardous to a frail or disoriented person.
• Suggest a potluck or ask other family members to prepare the meal. Order in or eat your holiday meal out this year. Some restaurants or grocery stores offer complete holiday meals for take-out.
• Keep the number of guests manageable. Noise and hectic activity can be exhausting for the person who is ill as well as for the burnt-out family caregiver.
• Ask family or friends to provide respite care for you over the holidays. Just a few hours of time for yourself can help renew your energy.
• It is natural to feel sad when others are having what seems to be the “ideal” family gathering. Remember, your family is doing the best they can given the circumstances.
• Not everyone will have a happy family gathering just because it is the holiday season. Old resentments can resurface when people spend an extended period together - especially when the stress of caregiving is added to the mix.
• Avoid comparisons with past holidays. Yes, your family situation has changed and this year will not be the same as holidays in the past, but it can still be enjoyed in its own unique way.

Article by, Barb Small, Reprinted with permission from Senior Living Magazine

Once a year this comes about… and I wanted to make sure you know about it, and hopefully do something special for it.

Sunday, August 21^st is National Senior Citizens Day.

Maybe you know a few seniors, maybe you are one yourself…

…either way…this is a special day and Seniors deserve special recognition.

Seniors lived through the depression, some fought for our future in World War II.  The past 50 years has sped up the change they have lived through.

They’ve seen the massive amount of change happening in their world, and within their direct families.

They may not carry cell phones – but are well aware those younger than them do.  To seniors, that means when they phone, someone should answer, or get back to them very shortly.

Seniors changed our world… and continue to do so to this very day.

So I would highly recommend you do something special for them on the 21^st.

One thing they would love from you?  Write them an appreciation letter.

Seniors didn’t grow up wired into a computer like todays youth has.  They grew up with hand written everything… and still love it.

Write a senior in your life a letter.

Tell them you are thinking about them – and wanted to thank them for being who they are.

Take them out to lunch and let them read your letter.

The impact this little gesture will have is immense. 

And if you are a senior – thank you.

You have helped raised the future generations.

You helped us maintain our freedom.

You laid the foundation for all future generations to piggy back on.

Thank you.

I do appreciate you.

And would love to say so in person if given the chance.

Just say when.